Updated: Jun 25, 2021
"Great things never came from comfort zones." - Neil Strauss
【Reflection】You are not the only one who will feel tired
"Sometimes, I find myself struggling to find a way to express myself."
This sentence was written on 19 February 2021, 8.10am, while I was on my way to work. I was looking out for the next train station, when I spotted the lady in office attire beside me googling “physical and soul pain quotes” on her phone.
For a moment, it felt like someone was feeling me too.
The reason being, just minutes before, I actually typed “不只是你会感觉疲惫” in my phone's notes, which literally means “You are not the only one who will feel tired”.
There and then, the lady scrolled through the texts and images, and finally reposted one image on her Instagram story. And so, I didn't managed to spy on what she posted exactly, but I thought this was the quote she chose from the collection, as I noticed a few keywords.
"We can alleviate physical pain, but mental pain - grief, despair, depression, dementia - is less accessible to treatment. It's connected to who we are - our personality, our character, our soul, if you like." - Richard Eyre
She added a smiley face after the quote, and her personal thought: “Keep going, friends. Friday is here."
Then, she straightened her hand bag on her lap, adjusted her mask and let out a not-so-silent "ahh" after she was done reposting. She also quickly replied a few text messages as the train came to a halt and alighted, soon after.
Seated right opposite this lady, a student clad in jacket and long jeans was noisily flipping through stacks of printed materials; which I guessed were her readings.
Her eyebrows narrowed as she comprehended the tiny words on the slightly crinkled papers. And her eye bags underneath her big round eyes made her look like she hasn't been sleeping well for days. She paused to look up once in awhile, silently mumbling many words to herself. I inferred that she was trying her best to memorise some theories, for examinations, as I can see her mask's little movements.
This was just me, being the usual quiet observer on my train ride to office.
At the other corner, I saw a middle-aged man with a big bag who sat down cross-legged on the train floor, despite the morning crowd. He looked exhausted, with his head bowed low and leaned against the wall.
To be honest, I was surprised at how much I could observe and pen down in just one train ride to work. I had been lethargic, unmotivated and somehow struggling to express myself. It had been ongoing for a month and I even wondered whether I just woke up one day and didn't quite like writing anymore.
But, verbalising my thoughts was actually harder, for the past week. Somehow, words and ideas just didn't come out, as easily as before.
Juggling with work and studies was rather mentally and physically draining. I felt like I lost the momentum to strive and keep going with gusto. But this morning, I was just quietly writing down observations, letting words flow and jotting down notes about Life.
Just as I was deep in thoughts, a mother with a young toddler nodded her head, when our tired eyes met in the train.
Her eyes somehow lit up after she received a text message on her phone. She gave her son a little squeeze on his tiny, chubby fingers. The playful and energetic toddler looked around, and somehow smiled while looking at me. He waved goodbye enthusiastically when I finally alighted from the train.
“Today’s going to be an excellent day,” I thought to myself.